Tech QB deals with guilt, gratitude
Walk-on Bryce Dykes involved in fatal car accident one year ago
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 04/21/08
In Georgia Tech's first intra-squad football scrimmage, walk-on quarterback Bryce Dykes escaped the pocket, got hit and lost his helmet. He plowed on nonetheless, gaining 15 yards and even more in respect from his peers.
It was one of the rare moments in the past year that Dykes was lost in something other than grief.
Recently, he was in a
Since that night, March 9, 2007, Dykes, 19, a National Honor Society student from Norcross, has suffered guilt, depression and doubts about his future — which brightened when the victim's husband forgave him during an emotional courtroom scene.
"At times, it's been really hard to get through," Dykes said after a recent Tech practice. "It's something that always will be there with me. I'm not going to just forget."
Swiftly, sadness shrouded his face. "But the Zhu family," Dykes said, looking away, "it's something they live with every day, too. More than me."
At the Gwinnett Arena last year, Dykes and a group of friends were among dozens of
Not far away, at First Chinese Christian Church in Norcross, the Rev. Michael Zhu was wrapping up a service with his congregation.
Later, the Rev. Zhu, wife Linda and two other friends headed home; Dykes and two friends were en route to school for a post-championship celebration. At the intersection of Peachtree Industrial and
Forever.
Dykes' Jeep Cherokee struck the rear of the Rev. Zhu's Nissan Altima. Linda Zhu, who was riding in the back seat, was rushed to
"Two joyous evenings coming together in a horrible way," said Drew Findling, the lawyer representing Dykes. "Just minutes before, both parties were celebrating."
Dykes was charged on March 30, 2007, with homicide by vehicle in the second degree. There was no evidence of speeding, alcohol or drug use. An investigation determined he was following too closely. Dykes eventually pleaded guilty to reckless driving.
He and his family asked permission to attend the wake of Linda Lin Zhu. The Rev. Zhu agreed. At the viewing, the Rev. Zhu embraced Dykes, who wept.
The two men came together once more at the sentencing hearing.
Dykes, crying the entire time, addressed the Zhu family, apologizing for his actions while asking for forgiveness.
"It's the most emotional thing I've ever seen in 23 years of doing this," said Findling, the lawyer. "That one hour captured the emotions of everyone there: the judge, deputies ... It was draining for everyone."
The Rev. Zhu had already planned to ask the judge for leniency toward Dykes. "That is the attitude I have in this life," he said. "It's my philosophy on the way to live."
The Rev. Zhu said he was made aware by his lawyer and others that Dykes is "a good kid, good football player" and National Honors Society member. "And I saw that he was a good person because he didn't hit and run. And he was very honest," the Rev. Zhu said.
"When he spoke, he was crying. He was sincere. I knew it. He was very sorry and regretful. Also, as a parent of a 16-year-old [son], it was very easy for me to put myself in his parents' shoes.
"I told the judge: 'There should be a balance. We should keep the integrity of the law. But we also should teach.' "
Judge Randy Rich agreed. As part of the reckless driving plea, Dykes is on probation and is required to speak to youths about the necessity of being safe drivers.
The Rev. Zhu's kindness and mercy have astonished the Dykes household.
"An amazing man," said Darryl Dykes, Bryce's father. "I just can't imagine the excruciating pain he has been in, and yet he has allowed us and Bryce to express our regret and sorrow. As hard as it has been for us, I know it has by far been hardest on him and his family. And I just could not imagine being as gracious as he has been with us."
Said Bryce Dykes, whose parents are Tech graduates: "Their family was a lot more receptive than I would have been. They were gracious and merciful. It was surprising, but Reverend Zhu is a great man."
The Rev. Zhu said he is behaving the way he thinks his wife would want.
"Everybody makes mistakes," he said. "Hating doesn't help. Hating cannot bring Linda back to life. It's most important how you deal with it and provide a future for the living ones. My wife would do the same thing. If I meet her in heaven, she will say I did the right thing."
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult challenges we as humans face. After any amount of pain caused by another person, who really wants to say "it's ok that you messed up, and I will no longer hold that against you"? It's so easy to hold a grudge. So easy to hate. So easy to be bitter about someone else's wrong against you. Forgiving someone is what's not easy. It sucks. It takes a super-human love, something that only God can provide us. Saying "I forgive but I will not forget" is not enough. We must put our pain fully in God's hands. This is something He's been teaching me over the past month or so, and today, I was finally able to let go. I am so thankful to God that He gave me the strength to let go. Though the pain is still there, I know after some time it will pass away, and there God will be, loving me like He always has and will despite so many reasons on my behalf for Him not to.
I'll end this post with this verse, from Ephesians 4:32..."Be kind and compassionate to one another, just as in Christ God forgave you."
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